This past December I was lucky enough to travel, despite everything going on.
My good friend joined me the first week, where I was then on my own for the following three weeks.
Travelling alone wasn’t intimidating to me, because it was something that I knew would push me outside my comfort zone.
Also, I’ve solo travelled before, so I was looking forward to it.
I would consider myself extremely sociable, but as much as I love to go out with friends, I truly value my alone time.
Doing what I enjoy, vibing with myself, and working on my personal goals – this is something I look forward to and dedicate time to every day if I can.
One afternoon, I was packing up a gourmet lunch for my picnic (cheese and crackers) and a guy asked me what I was doing and where I was going.
Without hesitation I said, “Oh very excited, going to the beach, having a picnic, and going to chill and read my book.”
He said in LITERAL SHOCK – ALONE??
He went on and told me how he thought I was so lonely since my friend left. That I didn’t have any friends and that was the reason I was going to the beach alone.
I laughed and simply responded with how much I enjoy my own company and am looking forward to a picnic on the beach.
Him and the girl beside him kept asking me all these questions and inviting me to hang out with them so I wouldn’t be alone.
However, I thanked them for the offer, then politely refused.
SO ANYWAYS OFF I WENT WITH MY CHEESE AND CRACKERS, and other than me getting severely burnt on my stomach, it was a solid day.
Listen, I’m one of those people where I will put myself out there to make friends when I want, but chilling by myself is one of the most freeing and empowering feelings.
It’s not until you get to that level of comfortability and enjoy your own company that you learn this.
I never use to have this mentality – throwback to about five years ago, I couldn’t even go to a café alone.
Travelling alone? The THOUGHT.
Through lots of inner work and battles with myself, I am at that place in my life, where I can truly say I am my own best friend – and I do not care how cheesy that sounds.
I don’t say this in any sort of arrogant way, but, as someone who knows what it feels like to be so dependent on others and constantly needing validation.
Instead, I say this as someone who wants to help you learn to enjoy your own company, become your unapologetic self, and be a strong independent woman.
Here’s how to learn to enjoy your own company –
At the end of the day, it’s just you.
From the start of your day to the end, through the good and the bad, and all the obstacles life has to throw at you – it’s you who’s going to be there through it all.
If you live your life in constant stress and anxiety and continue to neglect the relationship that means the most in this world, the relationship with yourself – you are going to spend the rest of your days, months, and life living in your own toxicity.
How you think and feel about yourself is one of the most important things in this world.
Also, when you think so low and unworthy about your self, this negative energy eventually spills onto others, and how others treat you.
Therefore, your well-being and happiness should be your TOP priority in life.
So, be kind, gentle, patient, and understanding with yourself, and learn that you are worthy of greatness and can do anything you set your mind to.
Actionable Step – Start to recognize how you talk to yourself from the words to the tone. Next time you have a negative or sabotaging thought, catch yourself and quickly remove them. Instead, speak to yourself in a gentle and friendly way and understand you are so much more than your thoughts.
Learning To Love Yourself
I talk about this in the majority of my blogs because this is the number one thing that will help you grow into the best possible version of yourself.
Getting to know yourself is when you dig deep and understand why you are the way you are.
What you like, dislike, and what you desire most out of like.
What your dreams are, and what you fear.
The beginning of your self-discovery journey won’t always necessarily be rainbow and unicorns though.
Getting to know yourself on that deep of a level can bring up some triggering and scary things from the past and even your childhood that you have pushed to the side and been avoiding for a very long time.
However, doing so is going to help you understand why you have certain triggers, and why you act a certain way.
It will help you learn what you need to work on and do more of.
It’s time you get to know the amazing and unique soul that you are.
Actionable Step – Journal, journal, journal!!
6 Tips To Improve Your Self-Esteem
OKAY FRIENDS! Now that you have identified your dislikes, fears, your favourite activities, your dreams in life – it’s time to work on yourself!
So, how do you do this you may ask?
There is so much f**cking content out there nowadays that I truly believe you can learn anything simply from YouTube. And a lot of it is free.
YouTube. Books. Podcasts. Blogs. Online Courses. Online Coaches.
If you want to improve certain areas in your life, you have to take action.
Most importantly, work on yourself, for yourself and nobody else.
Actionable Step – Read a new book, listen to a podcast about something you want to learn more about, do some research on those online classes.
How To Become The Best Possible Version Of Yourself
Finding time for yourself, even if that’s an hour a day is key in learning how to enjoy your own company
Take yourself out for ice cream, go to the movies, or get a bottle of wine and some paint and put on some music.
Also, if you avoid doing certain things because you don’t have a partner, that does not need to stop you.
Solo dates are great because you get to pick where to go, what to do, and when to leave.
Do something you enjoy and make yourself a priority on the date.
Try to switch it up and do something different every time until you find things that spark your soul.
We’ve all heard someone say, ‘If you don’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”
Fall in love with yourself first.
As a result, during these dates, you will learn so much about yourself and how valuable your time is.
Actionable Step – Take yourself out on a date this week!
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Lastly, be so busy working on your goals that you have no time to focus on others.
Goal setting shouldn’t be something that makes you nervous or something you dread.
Goals are what give us direction in life and help us stay organized and on track.
They are needed for us as humans to live a happier and more fulfilled life.
Whether big or small, goals help us grow, teach us lessons, and ultimately help us reach our final destination.
Working on your goals gives you something to work towards and a sense of purpose.
Additionally, it will help build your independence.
All that time you are spending on Netflix or browsing Instagram, spend it on improving yourself.
Instead, spend it on what is going to make you happy and successful in life.
Step outside your comfort zone and try new things. The unknown is not scary but full of endless possibilities.
Actionable Step – Write down your short term goals and long term goals for the year. Make a realistic plan and take action.
Learn To Love Goal Setting And Take Action
Thanks for reading – Learn To Enjoy Your Own Company.
Through honesty, compassion, and real-life experiences, I help women learn how to be independent and confident.