“Confidence is not ‘I hope they will like me.’ Confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t.”
– Unknown

My 15-year-old self and to be honest, even my 20-year-old self would be speechless at the thought of me writing a blog on how to build self-confidence. For years I struggled with being comfortable in my own body, yearning to be someone else.

Doubt and fear ruled my life and I was more concerned with what other people thought about me instead of focusing on the most important relationship – the one with myself. 

It’s easy to look at other people and wish you were as self-assured and confident as them. It happens to the best of us and is easier now than ever with social media showcasing everyone’s ‘perfect’ life. 

So what is self-confidence? And why does it matter? Self-confidence is a person’s trust in their capabilities and judgments that they can successfully face life’s challenges. 

Having self-confidence is crucial because it is one of the most important factors in determining your overall success in life. Your inner voice plays a huge role in how you make decisions and ultimately impacts how you shape your life.

Here are 5 ways to build self-confidence and change your life for the better –

Challenge Self-Limiting Beliefs 

One of the first steps to build self-confidence is to identify your self-limiting beliefs and change their narrative. For many women, these beliefs come in the form of self-doubts, downplaying their achievements, or engaging in negative self-talk by comparing themselves to others. 

Challenge your limiting beliefs by finding evidence that contradicts them. One way to do this is by writing down your daily thought patterns within your journal. Pay special attention to ruminative thoughts about the past or pessimistic worries about the future.  

The goal is to show yourself compassion and engage in optimistic self-talk rather than the opposite.

“If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.”
– Unknown 

Here are some thought journals below to get you started:

Thoughts & Reflection Journal
Mindfulness Journal
Elegant Thoughts Journal

Visualize Positivity

Next, positive visualization is a powerful technique that can help you build self-confidence. According to research, visualization impacts the neurons in our brains and changes the way we interpret information. 

When we visualize a positive act, our brain generates impulses that tell our neurons to “perform” that movement. This then creates a neural pathway that primes our body to act in a way that is consistent with what we imagined. 

SO imagine your best possible self! Visualize the way you will act and the things you will do in pursuit of your goals. This is going to BREED confidence and improve your overall performance towards achieving your goals. 

“To bring anything into your life, imagine that it’s already there.”
– Richard Bach

Check out these books:
Designing Your Life
Creative Visualization

Cut Back on Constant People Pleasing

For me, cutting back on constant people pleasing has been huge for boosting my self-confidence. When you are constantly trying to make others happy, you forget about the most important person in your life – yourself. 

Building self-confidence and self-esteem do not happen when you are constantly worried about what other people think. And it’s difficult to maintain confidence when your boundaries are consistently being violated.

A good practice is to slowly detach from interactions that are taking up excessive time and effort. Essentially, practice saying “no” sometimes and put your needs first. 

Need some help? Check out the book, The Art Of Saying NO: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted.

“Don’t be afraid of losing people. Be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you.”
– Unknown

Own Your Achievements  

Individuals with low self-confidence tend to credit external factors, such as other people or circumstances, for their achievements. This is especially true for women as they fear being perceived as arrogant or boastful – something that they think contravenes the feminine roles of society. 

BUT when you attribute success to factors outside yourself, it undermines your confidence. 

Moving forward, practice acknowledging your abilities whether this is within your academic, career, or personal life. Take a moment to reflect on the highlights of these achievements and focus all your energy on your strengths.  

When you do begin to engage in self-doubt, it’s a good practice to refer back to these highlights and achievements. 

So, celebrate how far you’ve come and everything that you have accomplished. Own your achievements and be proud of yourself and remember to pat yourself on the back every once in a while.

“Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go.”
– Rick Warren

Foster a Growth Mindset

Fear of failure often holds people back. So, we need to have strategies and tools in place that can help us cope with failure. 

One of these strategies is having a growth mindset. What that means is changing your mindset from thinking that your skills are fixed to thinking that your abilities are very much influenced and that you are capable of growth. 

People with a growth mindset perceive failure as a tool for developing their capabilities whereas individuals with a fixed mindset let their failures define them.

With a growth mindset, you will learn to view every failure as an opportunity to learn and, consequently, move closer to your goals and the life you’ve always wanted.

If life were easy and didn’t knock you down every once in a while, then we would all be living our dream life.

The Growth Mindset Workbook is a great place to start – get it here! 

“Don’t worry about failure. Worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.”
– Sherman Finesilver

Thanks for reading 5 Easy Ways To Build Self-Confidence

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Rose x