Growing up, I was taught that being selfish is a bad thing. That you were a bad person if you put yourself first. Still, in today’s world there continues to be such a negative reputation around being selfish that I find undeserving. Because while yes there are many degrees of selfishness like narcissists or that one guy I dated – there’s also a good side. The side where you put your own self-interests at the forefront of your life and do what’s best for you.
When you constantly give so much to others and are always trying to people-please, it is easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed, and burnt out. It’s easy to see your dreams slowly start to disappear.
Anything that you want to do or be in life is possible. But it’s that wall of judgement from other people that often gets in the way of taking that leap. Saying no and going against someone’s wishes can be challenging as you never want to hurt anyone’s feelings. However, if putting your needs first will move you closer to your goals, then you need to push through that wall and be a little selfish.
Understand that putting your emotional, mental, and physical well-being first is okay. It’s more than okay! Putting yourself first is not selfish, it’s brave. It’s how you are going to get to the top of the mountain a lot faster than others. That mountain being your dream life.
The truth is, you need to be a little selfish to truly live the life that you want. Family, friends, and even strangers will always (always!) have an opinion on what you should or shouldn’t do. But remember – not everyone needs to get you or your dreams. It’s not their dream – it’s yours.
Here are 5 reasons why being selfish is good for you –
Over the past couple of years, I’ve learned how important and valuable time can be. Although there are 24 hours in a day, it sometimes feels like there isn’t enough time. Having an extra couple of hours and even 30 minutes in your day can make a huge difference in your life.
Life can get so busy that if you are filling your days with tasks or people that don’t align with your higher self, then it is going to be very challenging trying to find time for you. When you start to make yourself a priority you will begin to vibe at a much higher, and lighter frequency.
Remember that you are in control of what you do, who you hang out with, where you go, and everything in between. When possible (and when you want to) practice saying no or politely cancelling your plans. With that time back in your day, you are now able to re-allocate it towards things that nourish your body, heart, and mind.
When you start to say no and take back control of your time, you are now able to put your goals first. In one of Lori Harder’s latest podcasts (I can’t remember which one as I listen too often) she discusses the topic that saying yes or no always has two sides.
You may be saying yes to going out with your friends or driving your brother somewhere – but that also means you are saying no to something else. That yes could be saying no to you getting some work done or going to the gym.
So, next time you say yes to something, think about what you are also saying no to. All that time and energy you may have spent on other people is now open for you to replace it with working on your goals. You can now go to the gym, work on your side hustle, connect with like-minded individuals, and save money! However big or small your goal may be, it’s going to take time to achieve it. And that time comes from you being a little selfish and making space for yourself.
Whether it be you cancelling plans to stay home and watch a movie, or being able to go to that new art exhibit you’ve been dying to go to – being selfish and putting yourself first means you do more of what you love and enjoy.
As mentioned previously, we decide who we want to hang out with and what we want to do. I think a lot of people often forget this and put the power in others. It’s so incredibly important to remember to fill your own cup or it’s going to eventually tip over and lead to stress, fatigue, and being burnt out.
So, fill your day with what you want to do and what is going to help you be your best possible self. When you do things that you love and spark your soul, you will begin to lead a much happier and more fulfilling life. AND imagine you did things you love not just for one day, but every day. Over time, life becomes more gratifying, playful, joyful and rewarding!
If anyone has been on an airplane you will be familiar with flight attendants telling you to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. The reason they say this is because if you run out of oxygen yourself, you can’t help anyone with their mask. When you put your mask on first you are now able to do more for yourself, your family, and others.
This concept is the same in life. When your cup is filled and you are taking care of yourself, you can give back to and help others substantially more. Whereas if your cup is empty, you don’t have much or anything left to give.
For me to be my best self around my family and friends, I need to ensure that my cup is filled first. In other words, I need to stop and recharge my batteries every once in a while. And there is nothing wrong with this! There have been multiple occasions where I have cancelled plans and rescheduled because I knew that I wasn’t going to be my best self. Instead, I did things that I knew would recharge my batteries – like going to the gym, taking a nap, or simply chilling at home with a movie.
When you are mentally, emotionally, and physically drained it’s important to replenish those stores. Not only will you be better because of it, but everyone around you will also benefit.
It’s no surprise that when you do start to put yourself first, you will attract more positive energy into your life. Thus, resulting in you feeling happier and healthier.
Personally, I think this is the most important reason why being selfish is good for you. Our happiness at the end of the day is what truly matters.
Check out Happier Human’s fantastic blog ‘7 Reasons Why Happiness is Important In Your Life” to learn more!
Also, Here are some books that I highly recommend:
The Joy of Being Selfish: Why you need boundaries and how to set them
The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You
Thanks for reading – 5 Reasons Being Selfish Is Good For You.
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Through honesty, compassion, and real-life experiences, I help women learn how to be independent and confident.